23 posts tagged “qotd”

What's the best gift you received this year?

As for material gain, all of my presents were great. From the Smiths t-shirt from Amanda to the basket of goodies from Brian + Heidi, as well as the Outer Limits DVD set from Shawna, it was good stuff all around.

However, sorry to do it, but I must take the sappy road and say the best part was being home + surrounded by my loved ones.

wait, was that asking what x-mas gift or all year? all year, I have to say the 42" LCD HDTV I gots for Father's Day. I could stand to be all alone with that baby to watch...

What do you have, what do you need and what do you want?
Submitted by Miss Scotch.

I have a new home big enough to shelter my entire family comfortably,
I need to be able to provide for us all,
I really really want to be able to use my talents + abilities toward something productive
so I can free myself of the corporate imposed wage-slavery I am bound to...

yay, "Submitted by Miss Scotch!"
we knows her!

When was the last time you made a drastic change to your personal style (i.e., wardrobe, hairstyle, etc.)? What did you do? 
Submitted by miyna. 

I just got my ears lowered a haircut.
will show a pic in the next week or so,
as it was butchered and I want it to fill back in a bit first...

wardrobe? I keep the same clothes forever,
and when I buy new ones,
they look a lot like the old ones...

I'm honestly open to drastic change, just never find much better than what I have.

Posh and Becks have moved to Los Angeles: [is this good?]

as much as I hate to answer a question with another question,
WHAT?!?  NO, it's not good. 
I don't care if they live in a fecal castle on the coast of pottytown,
it is bad not only that anyone is concerned about this,
but they want to know how concerned everyone else is as well.
aaand to further question your stupid question:
why would you ask that? aaand how lame are you?

Which professional athlete in any sport has the most star power?

goshdamn you and your so-called competitive sporting teams and so-called athletes. "star power" =  most influential  corporate sponsored steroid-addled whore. why don't you just confront your homoerotic beastial compulsions and screw a gorilla? all jocks should be ground into protein bars and fed to each other, soylent stupid style. quit servicing yourself to Sports Illustrated and go read an actual book, please.

Did you see the Harry Poppins movie this weekend?  Are you going to read the new book?

no.  and no.  just because it's such a goshawful STUPID question, I am not doing either out of spite. so there...

Dblcross

What board game are you really good at?  Really bad at?

What's the best text message you've ever gotten?

"we found your pants"

What other names did your parents consider for you?

I believe, if I had been a girl, they would have named me Morticia. or Penelopè Cruz.  or maybe  Baby Bitchface B-----  was discussed at one point, I think.

my mom actually named me Jean-Paul when I was born,

but fuckface my father chose Paul Joseph and put that on my birth certificate.
he thought everyone would pronounce it "Gene".

really, he wanted the Joseph in there coz it's his name.
if her really wanted me to be his namesake,
Baby Bitchface would have definitely been the better way to go...

What story from your wild-and-crazy youth would nobody believe about you today?

the scene of the crime

one incident I could not see getting into again

if I ever had to do it over
was stealing the light globes

from the main police station on Union Ave.

if you look at the top right of the pic,
you'll see part of a replacement globe similar to the one I gots.

it was St. Patrick's Day, 1989.  I got off work at 11PM, home around 11:30PM.  my roommate Terry had been to the pub crawl and was tanked.  despite being 19 at the time, I had drank a pitcher of beer or so at the pizza place I worked at, but really wanted a few more to catch up.  I had no money but Terry had some in the bank. he told me if I would walk to his ATM a half mile away to get cash + buy him chips, I could buy a 6 pack for meself as well.

at this point, I may need to include some other info. at this time Terry + I had been living in Midtown for a few months. our apt was inbetween Union + Madison, the two prime thoroughfares of the day. we had no car + walked everywhere, as nothing we needed was more than a mile away, and we were poor kids. almost every day, we would pass the police station and wonder if the globes were glass or plastic. at some point, we started to discuss taking them, like one for him + one for me. seemed unrealistic at the time, but we'll get to that.

the nearest ATM was a few hundred feet past the west precinct were the globes were.  as I walked down Union, there were pig cars policemen everywhere, speeding by to catch the drunkard drivers presumably.  when I got to the precinct, I remembered wondering what the globes were made of. I looked around, saw no pigs police around, ran up to the station and grabbed the nearest globe to feel it. the whole thing came right off in my hands, as it turned out to be a thick but lightweight plastic. I dropped it in the bushes and ran away. I was so freaked by it, had NO idea that would happen. all the way to the ATM, I was trying to decide: put it back or take the other too. I knew I'd NEVER EVER NEVER have the nerve to try this again, and Terry was a wuss about this stuff (well, to be fair, he was indicted a few years prior for Armed Robbery and rightly so, but that's another story) and I wasn't really trying then.

As I saw another pig cop car disappear around the corner, I ran to the 2nd globe and tugged it from the post. turns out this one was secured. I panicked and jerked really hard. There was a huge flash + smell of ozone and I fell backwards with globe in hand. I saw I had pulled the entire fixture out, like a lamp bolted to the brick signface. as the wires dangled + sparked at me, I reached under the sign + grabbed the 1st globe and ran across the street.  I had my standard trench coat, but these were too big to hide under it while wearing it. I wrapped them up in my coat and hid them in a dumpster, went to Walg Reen's and got 2 big brown bags. with each globe in a bag under each arm, I walked the next 10 blocks or so home like I was carrying groceries.

the next morning, I had one on each pole of Terry's drum rack. the plan was to take our pics with them, paint the insides hot pink and put them back, as it seemed too risky to have them around.  as it turned out, it was more scary to think about trying to return them. returning to the scene + all, I mean really, c'mon now, what a retarded goshdamn clichè.

I left one to Terry, who promptly lost it or threw it away. mine ended up with my brother, who spray painted fck tha above "POLICE" before ditching it in the woods next time the pigs Sheriff's dept showed up with a warrant for him. over the years, I have heard the story told back to me a few times, occasionally "that kid" is a skater or a punk, sometimes a metal kid, thankfully never a hippie. as there was no news of this reported publicly (that I know of, I assumed it wasn't prudent to reveal someone stole police property from the biggest precinct station on one of the biggest saturation nights of the year), it is often disregarded as urban legend. this being said, I rarely tell of it myself, also as I was always unsure what the statute of limitations might be for such an offense. the personal stigma alone would likely incite the average pig (yeah, I didn't strike it out, like they wouldn't notice it anyway) into bludgeoning me regardless. most others wouldn't really care regardless, so the story has been largely untold
until now.

that's my story. do you believe it?